Cutting breaks through my numbness, but only opens more wounds.
Depression, self-harm, bullying....that's my reality.
Sex and guys....that's my escape.
The space between the truth and lies is blurred leaving me torn, lost and confused. And while the monsters that live in my head try to beat me-- the two men that I love try to save me.
This is my story of friendship, heartache, and the grueling journey that is mental-illness.
Sometimes you have to get lost in order to be found…
I freaking love this book!! This is one of the best books I've read and feel like no words I will say could even begin to do it justice. I fell in love with Jessica, Kingsley and Jace but my heart ached for them equally too. Probably should grab a box of tissues, chocolate and have endless time to read this book because it's almost impossible to put down! I've already gotten a few friends to read it and they all feel the same way also :)
Jessica's story is dear to my heart because I work with people like her when they hit their lowest and worst points in a residential setting. Reading through her being bullied and depression can be hard to read for people who aren't used to seeing or hearing thoughts/actions she dealt with. However, her story to me was like reading what my clients tell me daily. Other parts of her story felt like pieces of my life or stories of my friends, like being lonely or not good enough for someone.
I loved that Jessica's character is so strong without realizing it, even with her weak moments. Jace shows her some of these strengths but Kingsley really elaborates on them and helps her grow into her strengths. For example, writing poems is art even of they're just her thoughts. He opens her to a different life of love and giving she's never seen, felt or done before. They are crucial to each other's lives and moving forward in those lives seeing beauty and not sadness. But, ultimately, the one that is her always, Jace, sees her through the worst also but in a different way and never stops loving her.
This story touches on topics most authors don't write about, especially for this genre of books, like bullying, depression, mental illness, and substance abuse issues. Kathryn not only wrote this story so well but has myself and others begging for more. The quotes are unforgettable, the journal is a deep dark unknown you want more of, and the story is a circle of knowledge and inspiration to get help or help others and to find strengths not weaknesses in all.
Married. Thinking about Jace being married to someone else puts a crack in my armor. It hurts; it burns my throat as I try to swallow the acidic thought of it down.
“Well then, in four weeks you should get married. Buy a big fancy house and go to charity dinners with your mother and wife. You can have the white picket fence and everything. It sounds like a perfect happily ever after, Jace. Don’t give it up for some broken girl you slept with once.” I bite out. I’m doing my best to keep it together, but I’m slowly unraveling. I love him; I hate him. I want him to stay; I need him to go. My contradicting thoughts circle my mind like vultures.
“Jessica, falling in love can’t always be a happily ever after or a once in a lifetime kind of story. Those happen in books, in movies. This is life and it’s real. Life has no script, no outline. We broke the rules of love long ago. All I know for sure is that with you, the rules will never apply.”
Before dejectedly walking out, he stops to look at me once more.
“And you weren’t just a girl I slept with once. You’re a girl I’ve loved—always.” And then he’s gone.
Kathryn lives in her small hometown in East Texas with her hand and two amazing children. Kathryn is an advocate of suicide prevention, supporter of ant-bullying efforts and does all she can to provide support to organizations who educate and bring awareness to these topics. With music being her second love to books she claims to be a music infused writer and book junkie who loves to live in a fictional world.
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